Motherhood has been the most messy, imperfect and challenging endeavor I have ever experienced.  Before having kids, I was a perfect mom.  My fictional children would never eat junk food, watch television or have too many toys.  And I would never dare use inorganic hygiene products.  

Then I actually had children.

And reality sunk in.  Whatever plans I had to raise my children –  in my narrow, naive and idealized world – went completely down the drain.  I planned to exclusively breastfeed my twins for at least one year.  From day one, I had to give them formula.  And I stopped pumping after they were 6 months old.  I wanted them to be free of any kind of screen time, but then once the pandemic started, I was at home with them much of the time and Paw Patrol became a regular babysitter.  

As a self-admitted perfectionist, being a mom has definitely challenged me to embrace the messier and more chaotic parts of life.  Prior to having children, my home had always been meticulously clean, I was never late to appointments or get-togethers with friends, and I always remembered loved ones birthdays.  Throw in a couple of kids and some of those plates have fallen to the floor.

 

 

Being a mom has taught me that things don’t always go as planned.  And art is no different.  Prior to starting a new piece, it is easy to have an idea of how we want the final product to look.  But most of the time, we have to make a few “bad” pieces of art before coming to a result we are satisfied with.  Even the great artists from the past have had to make piles of imperfect art before creating masterpieces.  

And let’s be honest, how many famous masterpieces would we consider absolutely perfect?  Monet’s “Water Lilies” is a great example of how imperfect and messy art can show us something beautiful.  

What I love about painting in watercolor is that it’s a medium that does best without trying not to control or manipulate it too much.  And I’ve learned so much about overcoming my own perfectionism while learning about it over the years.  Also, the power of art in general has taught me how to confront my own perfectionistic tendencies and overcome them. 

If you are a perfectionist and a parent, here are 5 ways that art can help you embrace imperfection in your creative work and in parenting:

1. Encourages Process Over Perfection

• My art practice has taught me to focus more on the creative process over the end result.  It’s very easy to become overly focused on the final product.  But art is a process, not a destination.  This mindset of focusing on the creative process can transfer to parenting, where imperfections are part of the unique and creative journey of raising children.

2. Promotes Emotional Expression and Vulnerability

• Art has allowed me to express emotions have often been difficult for me to put into words.  Parenting is can be overwhelming and draining.  Art can be a safe space for parents, showing that it’s okay to have a range of emotions. It encourages parents to model emotional openness, acknowledging that they don’t always have to have it all together.

3. Teaches Acceptance of Mistakes

• In art, I have found that “happy accidents” can lead to unexpected beauty. Making mistakes in life are inevitable and parenting is no exception.  Sometimes I don’t always do the right thing and that’s okay.  Making mistakes in our art projects can help us become more comfortable with the inevitable mistakes that come with parenting and see them as opportunities for growth rather than failures

 

 

4. Encourages Playfulness and Flexibility

• What I love most about creating is that it gives me the space to play. And after having become a mother, I’ve needed play more than ever.  Sure, I spend plenty of time playing with my own children.  But when I am creating, the play is directed by me and me only.  In my art journey, I have found that experimenting with new techniques, materials, and ideas have lead to pleasant surprises. Also,  I have found that a more playful attitude can be mirrored in parenting, making it easier to go with the flow and adapt to the unexpected.  I am a much more flexible and adaptable parent because of my art practice.

5. Fosters Connection Without Pressure

• Sometimes my daughter likes to join me during my painting sessions.  I’ve noticed a lot of my perfectionistic tendencies have been passed onto her.  She often gets frustrated when she’s not pleased with the result of her painting.  Having experienced this same kind of frustration, I have learned to empathize with her better and help her enjoy the creative process and embrace imperfections.  This practice has allowed me to deepen my connection with her and guide her during difficult emotions.  By engaging in creative projects together, parents can prioritize connection over achievement.  

I hope that this blog post has resonated with you, whether you’re an artist, parent or both.  Let me know in the comments if any of these points have struck a chord with you.  How has art taught you to let go of perfectionism?

Whether you’re a parent, full-time student or work at a demanding job, finding time to be creative and make art seems like trying to climb a mountain.

When my now 7 year old kids were infants and toddlers, nap time was sacred.

Now that they are older and don’t nap, finding quiet time to paint has been much trickier.  Sure, they are more independent now, but uninterrupted painting time while they are awake is rarely in the cards.

Also, I work Monday-Thursdays 8am-5pm, in addition to some weekends.  Fridays have become my art days (so long as I’m not distracted by never ending chores and appointments.)  I do on occasion paint at night, but creating while tired is not ideal or enjoyable.

So how do I maximize my time for my art practice when I finally have a chance to sit down and paint?

 

Here are 5 tips that have worked for me over the last few years, that I hope can help you too.

1.) Keep your supplies handy and ready to use.

When my kids were little, keeping my art supplies within reach was not a good idea (toddlers are experts of destruction).

But now that they are older, I find that keeping my palettes, paints and brushes ready to use on my desk makes getting down to painting much easier.

There’s no better creative motivation killer than having to rummage around the house or apartment for lost art supplies.

Out of sight = out of mind 

Whether it’s keeping your pencils and sketchbook on the kitchen table, or keeping your oil pastels in a basket next to the couch in your living room, having your things within reach – and sight – will make starting the creative process much easier.

 

2.) Designate small chunks of time throughout the week to create rather than using large blocks of time in one sitting.

As a full-time working mom, I don’t always have hours of time to make something.  I’ve learned that it’s much easier – and effective – to designate 20-30 minutes a day (rather than hours on one day) for my art practice.

Don’t get me wrong – I love having my Fridays to make art for hours at a time.  But I realize this is not always an option for most people.

And if we’re being honest, I find that my art comes out much better in shorter spurts.  Creativity takes focus and energy, and painting for hours can be just as tiring as it is fun.

If you have kids, you could wait until they fall asleep to get to painting or maybe put on a tv show to keep them occupied and out of your hair for a bit while you do some sketching (my kids are huge “Bluey” fans).

 

3.) Keep some supplies in your car or purse.

Have a long wait at the doctor’s office? Or maybe you need to kill sometime in the break room before the weekly meeting?

Then why not keep a small sketch book and some pencils with you to carve in some art time.

I’ve even doodled on some scratch paper at my desk while being put on hold for a work call.  Don’t rule out the power using tiny chunks of time to do something quick.

Even if you’re just doing squiggles and mark-making, your still using your hands and brain to make something that wasn’t there before.

 

 

4.) Keep a list handy of “prompts” or techniques that interest you.

Picture this scenario: you finally have time to create, you browse Pinterest and social media for 10 minutes, and still don’t know what to make.  Before you know it, you’ve spent most of your precious time just browsing the internet for inspiration and not creating.

One of the biggest issues that I hear many artists say is that when they sit down, ready to create, they have no idea what to make.  I too have had this issue many times.  What I like to do is make a list of subjects that I’m interested in and refer back to that list whenever I feel stuck and don’t know what to do.

It’s also helpful to make a prompt list for the week and designate a subject for each day.  When you have a roadmap laid out, it takes the guess work out of figuring things out.  So when you get a spark of inspiration during the day while you’re at your job or in the grocery line and think “Oh, I should draw this!”, jot down that idea and you can refer to it later.

 

5.) Don’t wait for inspiration or motivation to create.

At the end of a long day or week, it can be hard finding the energy or motivation to make art.  If I waited for inspiration or motivation to make art every time, I would be creating very little.  Most days I am too tired and say to myself, “I’ll just paint tomorrow.”  So I’ve learned to ignore that voice and just sit down and make something.

According to American writer Mark Manson, action inspires motivation, not the other way around.  When we choose to do something – even when we don’t feel like it – inspiration can be the product of our actions, propelling us further into creativity.

Have you ever had drag yourself to the gym and force yourself to work out?  And then been glad that you made that choice after going?  This principle applies to creating and making art too.  So next time you tell yourself that you don’t feel like creating today, just sit down and do it.  You will be pleasantly surprised and have no regrets to have made that choice.

 

I hope that you found these tips helpful.  And if you have some tips of your own, I’d love to hear them!  Feel free to leave a comment below and I will respond as soon as possible.

 

Happy Art Making,

Emily

 

 

 

In 2018, my love of watercolor began.  Prior to that time, I had dabbled with this fluid medium maybe once or twice during my school days.  But it wasn’t until I started doing online tutorials on YouTube and Skillshare -after I had my children – that I really learned how much I loved watercolor.

I could not deny the artist within.

As soon as the kids went down for their naps during my days off from work, I would quickly retreat to my desk, bust out my brushes and paints, and get to work.  I couldn’t remember the last time I had been that excited to learn and do something.

I wanted to know everything about watercolor: from the paint properties to the different kinds of papers, I was simply enamored.

My newly found passion of watercolor evolved into wanting to know everything about not just the specific medium but also about art in general.

I am so lucky to have found Erika Lancaster amidst thousands of art educators online – through her Patreon membership site, I have gained access to hundreds of online courses that are as close as you can get to an art education without having to go to art school.  Through her teaching and inspiration, I have learned about everything there is to know about art.  Thank you, Erika!!

Today, I continue to expand my knowledge and experience using various mediums, such as graphite sketching, ink drawing and gouache paint.  I started out doing watercolor landscapes, which have always been in my comfort zone, but I continue to venture out to other subjects, like portraits, figures and still life.

I don’t like to box myself into any one particular medium or style.  Some of my paintings have very bright and fairytale like colors that would be seen in a Disney movie.  Other pieces have more realistic colors found in nature.  Whatever mood strikes me in the moment, I just go for whatever appeals to me.

On a professional level, I understand that having a particular style or color palette is recommended for finding the right audience.  I know in time that it will come.

But for now, I’m still just exploring to see what works and what doesn’t.  And if you’ve made it this far in this long blog post, you have my sincerest gratitude.

Thanks for being here.

xo,

emily