Motherhood has been the most messy, imperfect and challenging endeavor I have ever experienced. Before having kids, I was a perfect mom. My fictional children would never eat junk food, watch television or have too many toys. And I would never dare use inorganic hygiene products.
Then I actually had children.
And reality sunk in. Whatever plans I had to raise my children – in my narrow, naive and idealized world – went completely down the drain. I planned to exclusively breastfeed my twins for at least one year. From day one, I had to give them formula. And I stopped pumping after they were 6 months old. I wanted them to be free of any kind of screen time, but then once the pandemic started, I was at home with them much of the time and Paw Patrol became a regular babysitter.
As a self-admitted perfectionist, being a mom has definitely challenged me to embrace the messier and more chaotic parts of life. Prior to having children, my home had always been meticulously clean, I was never late to appointments or get-togethers with friends, and I always remembered loved ones birthdays. Throw in a couple of kids and some of those plates have fallen to the floor.
Being a mom has taught me that things don’t always go as planned. And art is no different. Prior to starting a new piece, it is easy to have an idea of how we want the final product to look. But most of the time, we have to make a few “bad” pieces of art before coming to a result we are satisfied with. Even the great artists from the past have had to make piles of imperfect art before creating masterpieces.
And let’s be honest, how many famous masterpieces would we consider absolutely perfect? Monet’s “Water Lilies” is a great example of how imperfect and messy art can show us something beautiful.
What I love about painting in watercolor is that it’s a medium that does best without trying not to control or manipulate it too much. And I’ve learned so much about overcoming my own perfectionism while learning about it over the years. Also, the power of art in general has taught me how to confront my own perfectionistic tendencies and overcome them.
If you are a perfectionist and a parent, here are 5 ways that art can help you embrace imperfection in your creative work and in parenting:
1. Encourages Process Over Perfection
- My art practice has taught me to focus more on the creative process over the end result. It’s very easy to become overly focused on the final product. But art is a process, not a destination. This mindset of focusing on the creative process can transfer to parenting, where imperfections are part of the unique and creative journey of raising children.
2. Promotes Emotional Expression and Vulnerability
- Art has allowed me to express emotions have often been difficult for me to put into words. Parenting is can be overwhelming and draining. Art can be a safe space for parents, showing that it’s okay to have a range of emotions. It encourages parents to model emotional openness, acknowledging that they don’t always have to have it all together.
3. Teaches Acceptance of Mistakes
- In art, I have found that “happy accidents” can lead to unexpected beauty. Making mistakes in life are inevitable and parenting is no exception. Sometimes I don’t always do the right thing and that’s okay. Making mistakes in our art projects can help us become more comfortable with the inevitable mistakes that come with parenting and see them as opportunities for growth rather than failures
4. Encourages Playfulness and Flexibility
- What I love most about creating is that it gives me the space to play. And after having become a mother, I’ve needed play more than ever. Sure, I spend plenty of time playing with my own children. But when I am creating, the play is directed by me and me only. In my art journey, I have found that experimenting with new techniques, materials, and ideas have lead to pleasant surprises. Also, I have found that a more playful attitude can be mirrored in parenting, making it easier to go with the flow and adapt to the unexpected. I am a much more flexible and adaptable parent because of my art practice.
5. Fosters Connection Without Pressure
- Sometimes my daughter likes to join me during my painting sessions. I’ve noticed a lot of my perfectionistic tendencies have been passed onto her. She often gets frustrated when she’s not pleased with the result of her painting. Having experienced this same kind of frustration, I have learned to empathize with her better and help her enjoy the creative process and embrace imperfections. This practice has allowed me to deepen my connection with her and guide her during difficult emotions. By engaging in creative projects together, parents can prioritize connection over achievement.
I hope that this blog post has resonated with you, whether you’re an artist, parent or both. Let me know in the comments if any of these points have struck a chord with you. How has art taught you to let go of perfectionism?